In Girl, Stop Apologizing, #1 New York Times bestselling author and founder of a multimillion-dollar media company, Rachel Hollis sounds a wake-up call. She knows that many women have been taught to define themselves in light of other people—whether as wife, mother, daughter, or employee—instead of learning how to own who they are and what they want. With a challenge to women everywhere to stop talking themselves out of their dreams, Hollis identifies the excuses to let go of, the behaviors to adopt, and the skills to acquire on the path to growth, confidence, and believing in yourself.
Girl, Stop Apologizing is a book that will keep you on your foot, since the time you read its title. It is right then, that you know, you are going to learn something and that it is gonna hit the chords of your heart. And it truly does.
As much as it seems that it is a women-centered book, which would talk about the dos and don’ts for women. It is actually not. It just talks about how we, women, multitask - manage home and work. How we try to maintain a work-life balance but usually fail or deal with societal expectations, which women can relate to better than men.
The reason that I liked this book is that the author definitely has a way with words. She is able to ignite you to work towards your dream - your one big goal.
The book starts by pointing out excuses that people generally use to justify their inability to pursue their goals. Some of them being - “I am not a goal-oriented person”, “I don’t have time”, “I am not enough to succeed” and many more. I was able to relate to almost every excuse. I do use them often when I am not able to achieve my goals. The writer asks you to do away with these excuses if you really want to chase your dreams.
In the next part, the author talks about behaviours to adapt. She asks the readers to stop seeking approval or apologizing for your dreams. “There is a difference between having someone’s opinion vs. having someone’s approval.” It is your dream. You don’t have to be guilty of it.
And in the last part, she talks about the skills one should acquire to be able to reach their goals. Now though it seems basic like planning, being effective, confident, and persistent, etc., she is able to break it up in a quite simple manner.
I loved the overall flow of the book and the dedication of the writer to help people achieve their goals. But there were points where she unintentionally made some remarks which might not be appreciated by a lot of people.
She constantly talked about getting in shape, dieting, appearance affecting confidence. I don’t say that these topics should not be discussed but a few of her statements were hurtful in nature. She talked about getting her boob job done because they grew from size B to E post having kids. She justified that by saying that she felt a lack of confidence because of her size. Well, she had the resources to do something so drastic to build up her confidence. Not everyone can. Does it mean that they can’t be confident, just because they don’t look like what they wish to look like?
Some of the key takeaways for me were 1) Make a weekly schedule of what you do. See where you are wasting time. Try to make out time for your dreams. 2) Do not hold on to your past when the mean people said mean things. You are capable. Trust yourself. YOU ARE ENOUGH. 3) It is okay to have a work-life imbalance 4) The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. So focus on the present and work towards your goals.
Well, if you have a dream in your life, then disregard of your gender this book will just help you achieve it. Additional benefits will be that women will know that nothing should stop them. They should not be ashamed of their goals, however selfish they may sound and men will realize that what women mean when they say that it is easier for guys - Guys are not supposed to be the stay at home parents as per societal conventions, their goal to make lots of money is not considered selfish or self-obsessed. They’ll be able to understand women better after reading this book.
There are so many things that we start accepting as second nature because that has been ingrained into us since birth, by what we see and observe around us. But it is time to drop those so-called societal conventions and focus on YOU.
I would definitely recommend this book, but if you think “body size and beauty” is a trigger topic for you, then I would suggest you avoid it.